Friday, September 6, 2013

Week 2: coherence; action/observation descriptive essay

This week you will be doing a different kind of description. Nature pretty much (we hope) stays still. You look at and say what you see. That was week 1.

But what happens to the writing when you describe a series of actions or observed events. How do you order the material, how do you connect the bits and pieces, how do you keep it fresh, how do you avoid writing "...and then this happened and then that happened so what I did next was blah blah but suddenly such and so popped up which forced me to go with my backup plan. First, I did blah, and then I tried blah blah...."

See? It's just one damn thing after another. It makes sense in its own terms but only the time sequence is holding it together and making it coherent, and time sequencing is a default way of creating coherence but it's not a very deep way.

There are other, better ways that use chronological order, certainly, but whose larger coherence is in ideas, a point, playfulness, rhetorical snap, etc.


  1. To capture a moment in time and yet to see it move.

  2. to keep up in case I'm ever officially part of the class, I don't quite get what you're saying this assignment is...
    Can you please explain it a little further?
    Are we supposed to write anything that relates to coherance: action/observation essays?

  3. Hey kayla--likely an email from me later today. You're supposed to write an action/observation essay that is coherent--not that's about or relates to coherence, but that is coherent, has some organizing principle.

  4. okay...
    I will post it by friday or saturday...

  5. I did as you asked and dropped the word verification, as to the assignment I was writting for week 2 I do not know exactly what the assignment was for week 1 for I was not in the class for the assignment just accepted this week.
    I felts I was writing in both the series of actions in reference to the parasailing and observation being descriptive of the time and view of the events?

  6. "You want us to see and feel what you felt and saw but IMO have chosen a topic that, for all its apparent color and excitement, actually is mostly a series of thoughts and those are difficult to translate to the page sometimes."
    You did get the base Mr. G what a exciting but yet confusing experience and how do you sort the pieces, so I wrote how things first came to mind as I recalled.
    I thank you so much for your comments and opinions and look foward to each piece to become stronger and have more clarity

  7. I think I was able to get the gist of what you were looking for this week, but will be looking forward to your take on it.

  8. I've enjoyed reading other people's essays. We have some very good writers here. Kind of makes me wish we were in a classroom and could get to know each other.